Life

I need to release.

2010-11-03T23:22:00.000-07:00

Blogging again? Seriously Leng?
Well, I do only blog when i really need to release my stress and have problems to pour out.
Well.. What't the problem now Leng?
It's that girl AGAIN. and AGAIN and AGAIN.
Why does this keep bothering me?

Your eyes are so beautiful I can stare at them all day long.
Your voice is so perfect, It should be on the Worlds Number 1 SoundTrack.
Everytime you call my name my heart jumps for joy.
I love your personality.
Easy to talk to, smart, funny, beautiful.
Your laugh is so nice, It can bring me up anytime.
You're the closest thing to perfection for me.
You are perfect.

FEELING DOWN

Huge dillema!
Why, oh why on this so important year feelings for you have to be so strong?
Why oh why I do not have the guts to pour my feelings?

Oh, It's that fear again.
Everyone calls it REJECTION.
Self esteem, Down the drain again!

You might know who you are,
You gave me signs saying NO.
So have my word, I'm trying my best to forget, get over this major major crush.
If you can call it a crush lah. More like a crash.
*Sighs*

Breaking

2010-01-23T22:15:00.000-08:00

Do you memorize theatrical lines
That seem to lead them in
Play the role with a good girl heart
Hide the tangled webs within
Who was it that led you on,
and makes you want to hurt me so?
Who do you want to forget,
That forgot you long ago?

Do you still feel him
Calling in the air tonight
Do you still feel it
Seems like you've done this before

You make breaking hearts look so easy
(seems like you've done this before)
You've got breaking hearts all but down
(and you've done this, you've done this before)
You make stealing hearts look so easy
(where is the girl I adore?)
You've got breaking up all but down
(and I can't love a thief anymore)

Do you collect the souls you've lost
In the top of your dresser drawer
Count the number of tears displaced
On lonely bedroom floors
A machine where your heart once was
Slowly takes the place of you
Only hold the memories now
Of a love I thought I knew

Do you still feel him
Calling in the air tonight
Do you still feel it
Seems like you've done this before

You make breaking hearts look so easy
(seems like you've done this before)
You've got breaking hearts all but down
(and you've done this, you've done this before)
You make stealing hearts look so easy
(where is the girl I adore?)
You've got breaking up all but down
(and I can't love a thief anymore)

You make breaking hearts look so easy
You've got breaking hearts all but down
You make breaking hearts look so easy
(seems like you've done this before)
You've got breaking hearts all but down
(and you've done this, you've done this before)

The best you could hope to be is now just a bittersweet memory
And you make breaking hearts look so easy.

Its the 2nd of January .

2010-01-02T01:38:00.000-08:00

Yeah its the 2nd of January. But im sick.. Shit larh! Im thinking i cant make it for the first day of school.. Happy Birthday Harris! Sorry couldnt make it for gbox. :(

Happy Birthday Sultan!

2009-12-10T03:04:00.000-08:00

Happy Birthday to our dear Sultan of Selangor..
His birthday means... PUBLIC HOLIDAY!
No work and no tuition.. Heheheh
Wanna go out anyone? =D

lawl.

2009-11-16T20:20:00.001-08:00

To tell you guys the truth. I don't get blogging.
Lawl.
Anyways, exams are over and yeah. Its so freaking boring.
What to do? What to do? what to do!?
Frequent question asked in my head..

Holidays Resolution: Use the extra time i have to exercise and come back fit.
If i succeed: FUCK U PEOPLE! :D
If i dont. : Please forgive me. :P

Angry. Then Sad.

2009-10-15T21:07:00.000-07:00

Hey guys. Here blogging again about some stupid stuff that happened. I found out today, that the world can be cruel. To the living and the dead. It doesn't matter whether you've done good or done bad. People will do bad things to you. From today onwards, I've lost my trust to people. No not you friends, But all the people out there. Yes, You motherfuckers.

1) Who were the one's who robbed my friends that day?
PEOPLE

Fine. Things blow over. But what i found out today really pissed me off. As you all know, I've lost my Grandmother recently. 31st May. Yeah, Lets not talk about that and cut to the chase.
My Grandmother was burried. And guess what? Her grave which has quite a number of metal steel bars have all been stolen. Yes the metal door, the bars beside it. I cannot understand. The people who do this.
What the fuck is wrong with you people? Are you insane? You rob from the living. Then you rob from a dead person's grave. My Uncle's grave steel bars were all stolen too. And no, it doesn't stop there. When you look around. All the grave's bars have been stolen. I was really angry when i've heard this. What if I steal from your mother's grave you assholes? Or maybe you steal from your own mother's grave. I was angry. And now im sad.
Sad that there is people out there, who steals from the dead and get to sleep comfortably at night. Well, how do i know that? Cause if they can't sleep. They wont do it anymore. Not only my Ahma's grave was stolen of steel bars. Im sure it happens everywhere. You just can't do anything to stop this heartless people. To all the people who have experience this. I share your anger.

Not scared of robbing from the living or the dead?
PEOPLE

Now i know.

2009-10-13T00:58:00.000-07:00

Now i know

What if feels like to be betrayed by a friend

I also know, maybe our friendship is not coming to an end

Maybe we can save this friendship

Maybe not

But what you did I can never forgive.

You were close to me

Yes you were

But you chose to backstab me

Whyever?

I hope everything that people's telling me

Is just a LIE

Or not, my relationship with you is fried

Get ready man,

Cause if I found out you backstabbed me?

You're never gonna backstab anyone again.

Ahh... Studying.

2009-10-08T04:35:00.001-07:00

Hey guys! You know.. exam day is around the corner. And I hope you guys are studying.. Hope you guys are not struggling like me.. Im having some problems trying to concentrate on studying. Well, with the computer, PSP, and the television all to myself, it is definitely a big problem I told myself.. YongLeng. Wanna become an engineer?? Chemistry Must be good..
So I TRIED to study Chemistry. but 5 minutes later i end up just sleeping..

THEN i told myself. Aiya.. My Chemistry okay lar.. Study Physics lar.. Physics also important what..

SAME thing happened again.. I ended up on the bed sleeping.. Guess studyin's just not my thing.

Maybe other books can catch my attention. Or well, Keep it.

Ahh.. Maybe this one will! And it did! Its the Japanese Mangathat i've been reading. Crayon Shin Chan.

I love this book. Well, Its in BM. Thats why it's called Dik Cerdas.

Crayon Shin-Chan follows the adventure of five year old Shinnosuke Shin Nohara and his life..

But the author.. Sadly, died last month and the future of this manga is uncertain.

I'm enjoying this book.. Sleeping to it. And waking up to it.
I hope the series continues.

Hope you guys dont have studying problems like me. Study hard. You guys got future.

.

2009-10-06T23:38:00.001-07:00

You better hope we dont find you motherfuckers around. Or you'll wish you were never born. Messed with the wrong people.

omg Harris...

2009-10-06T20:51:00.000-07:00

Was talking to Harris today morning.. Was talking to him about the dream i had. The only person that i dare tell to. lol.. then the basket insulted me! insulted you! LOL.. but i couldnt stop laughing as in what he said.. cure all my problems..

The Dream
-I know you wont do such things.. You told me before. But it was a hell of a dream.. You would have crushed my heart if you were doing such a thing..

Peace out.

All about being...

2009-10-06T04:08:00.000-07:00

Something i bet none of you guys know about me.
1) Im afraid of being alone. Losing the people i love.
2) Im afraid of getting some freak disease
dying young.
3) Im afraid of being said NO to.
4) Im afraid of losing people i love.
5) I may look big but im small hearted.

How i spent my Mooncake Festical day.

2009-10-03T22:14:00.000-07:00

So.. im gonna tell you guys how i celebrated my Mooncake Festival day..
Well.. as you guys know. I fell a day before. So in the afternoon my mum brought me to see the doctor.

Well.. First he pull my leg to arrange the veins and all the crap which is inside my leg
to its original position. Sorry i dont have the photos.. I dont want you all to see a guy
shouting like giving birth like that.. heheheh. anyways. after that the chinese doctor
put some icky gunk on my leg.. Then he wrapped my leg!

As ya'll can see.. after he pulled my leg. It swell up.. =(
THEN.. he gave me some alcohol!
no.. not that Carlsberg alcohol
this alcohol is for me to aplly on my leg everyday..
If you drink it, then bye bye to you. :D

Then. he prescribed me some medication.
The pink and brown one looks like sweets and the brownish one's are nasty.
My hands were wet when i touched the brown ones and the colour's are still
on my fingers.. looks like mud.

The Mid-Autumn Festival, also known as the Moon Festival, or in
Chinese, Zhongqiu Jie, is a popular harvest festival celebrated
by Chinese, Japanese(Tsukimi), Korean(Chuseok), and Vietnamese
people(even though they celebrate it differently), dating back over
3000 years to moon worship in CHina's Shang Dynasty. It is also
sometimes reffered to as Lantern Festival or Mooncake Festival.

Okay, I got that from wikipedie. :D
At night, candles! im so happy to play with fire..
It reminds me of my childhood when i played with all my cousins.

It also reminds me of all the lanterns i burned down when i was

a small kid.. Sorry got no lantern pictures.

That, was how i spent my Lantern's Day.

''Smile''

2009-10-03T05:42:00.000-07:00

You're better than the best
I'm lucky just to linger in your life
Cooler than the flip-side of my pillow (that's right)
Completely unaware
Nothing can compare to where you send me
Let's me know that it's okay (yea, it's okay)
And the moments when my good times start to fade

[Chorus:]
You make me smile like a sun, Fall outta bed
Sing like a bird, Dizzy in my head
Spin like a record, Crazy on a Sunday night
You make me dance like fool, Forget how to breathe
Shine like gold, Buzz like a bee
Just the thought of you can drive me wild
Oh, you make me smile

Even when you don't
Somehow you come along just like a flower pokin through the sidewalk crack
And just like that
You steal away the rain
And just like that

[Chorus]

Don't know how I lived without you
'Cuz everytime that I get around you
I see the best of me inside your eyes
You make me smile
You make me dance like fool, Forget how to breathe
Shine like gold, Buzz like a bee
Just the thought of you can drive me wild
Oh, you make me smile

[Chorus]

(Oh, you make me smile)
Oh you make me smille
(Oh, you make me smile)
Oh you make me smille

The All American Rejects

2009-10-01T23:31:00.000-07:00

I've injured my leg!
Hope i can still go..
ahh..

May 2008,2009

2009-09-23T06:02:00.001-07:00

Hey guys, Leng here. i've opened up this blog today for as u can see from the title, telling you guys about the hells and heavens that i suffered from May 2008/2009. The month of May in these past 2 years has changed the way i thought about life and way i live my life. I would also like to apologize to a few of my friends in this blog about the things that i've done and the things that i did not do in these 2 months. I would also like to apologize if i just wasted like 5 minutes of your time even looking at my blog. Im gonna explain each date and what happened to me that i felt was hard to forget.

May 14 2008,

Today was my birthday. Thanks guys for all the wishes. But the thing that made me hard to forget about this day was that i received a present. 2 presents in exact. From her. Well, you don't need to ask who's her. but if u know her then u know her. She gave me a card, which she made herself-which the card was my name. The card was my name! I'd never received these type of presents before.. and i hardly receive presents at all cause its mostly just wishes. so thank you.

May 18 2008,

May 18th. As you all know. My friend Caleb. My best friend who i treat like a brother. Well, i call everyone brother, but he's different. Today was the day his dear grandmother passed away. And even though I did not know her but, it was a day that my brother lost his grandma. I would also like to apologize to you after the stupid thing that i've done in front of class at this day. Sorry. It was the last grandmother that he had left, like me at that time.

Im gonna skip to May 24th first

May 24 2008,

I recieved a call from Mandeep. I got a call from him cause at that time, he was trying to contact Justin and i was using Justin's number. He told me that Justin's mum had passed away. Shocked and don't know what to say. Called him and he sounded calm. Couldn't sleep through the night. Keep waking up, and the thoughts were buzzing in my head like an annoying bee. I knew aunty. She was a very nice woman and would talk to me whenever she was waiting for Justin during tuition. Even though im not close to her. Well, I knew her. And well, Justin is like a brother to me.

May 21 2008,

I remembered that it was Ooi's birthday. Sorry if i say the wrong facts. Today was the day that my friend Justin, lost his beloved mother. Well, i didnt know till Mandeep called me on the 24th. Plus, noone like want to inform me. I guess im the last to know everything.

May 22-29 2008,

It was Justin's mum's funeral period. Justin, Im so sorry that i did not attend your mum's funeral. I had some problems at that time and i hope u understand. Till today i cannot forgive myself for not attending your mothers funeral. Im sorry.

May __ 2008,

I didnt write the date because i forgot it already.. So this is gonna be for the whole month of may.

I've been so unfair to you this whole month. I did not consider how do you feel, but i just cared more about how do i feel. Im sorry.

Now, thats May 2008. Sorry Justin, Caleb, You.

Lets get on to this year's May.

May 8 2009,

Justin's grandfather passed away on this day. Justin told me many things about his grandfather including the one with the drips. Again, i was like the last person to know about this. I went into the school toilet during class and called him. He sounded calm. Brother, you too tough la.

Okay, my head's gonna burst now. Thinking of what happened in the month of May. So im just gonna go to the things that i really cant forget.

May 23 2009,

Celebrated my birthday with my ahma today. Her birthday was on May too.

May 31 2009.

1p.m.

Uncle Johnny came, to check how ahma was doing. Dad and Mum was in Australia and they are coming back today, but only around 11ishp.m. Ah ma did not eat for the past 2 days. Suddenly she grew thin because she was eating lesser and lesser everyday. There were even times that she only drank milk and didnt want to eat at all. It was a Sunday. I remembered Uncle Johnny bringing a doctor 2 days earlier to check on my grandmother. The doctor said that if she goes on like that. we may have to bring her to the hospital cause her lungs was having an infection. Other than that, she was perfectly fine. So lets continue..

At 1p.m. my uncle came and checked on my grandmother. she didnt really eat that day. But above all else, she looked fine.

2p.m.

Informed my parents,Uncle Robert Aunty Alice, Uncle Billy and Aunty Tomma in Australia through msn that ahma was not eating. Uncle Johnny too explained that even though ah ma was like that. They shouldnt worry and rush home.

6p.m.

Uncle Johnny came again to check on ahma. His house is near and its convienient for him to check on ahma. This time, ahma turned pale. her hands turned a bluish pale colour and it wasnt a good sign. My uncle called the other uncles and aunties which i have. 9 Uncles and 3 Aunties. To start praying for ahma.

7p.m.

Ahma was having trouble breathing. She was breathing heavily. Everyone was so worried for her. All we could do was pray for her.

7.45p.m

My uncle decided to call the ambulance.Sadly to say, The red cresent ambulance broke down halfway but we all didnt know. We waited and waited and kept praying for ahma, hoping for her condition to get better.

8.30p.m.

I've been walking in and out of ahma's room. checking how's her condition. I prayed for like maybe 10 minutes then i would go in to check on her. I was crying, I did not want ahma to leave me. I loved her so much, She was the only ahma i had because my mum's ahma passed away before i was born. I remembered around 8p.m. I asked my friend Billy and Kenny, to spare a prayer for my ahma.

Im gonna skip to 9.15 first.

9.15p.m.

I realised that ahma was not breathing heavy anymore. I realised more then that.. I realised she wasnt breathing at all. Well, my uncles and cousins said that ahma was breathing very lightly. But i doubt that.

I was sure that ahma was no more. I touched her hand, and it was cold. Very very cold.. Family still did not want to believe that ahma was no more.. I didnt want to believe that too, so i continued to pray.

Continued From 8.30

8.35p.m.

After 5 minutes, i went in to check on my ahma again. She was breathing heavier then ever. So, so worried for her. Tears running down my face when i saw ahma in so much discomfort.

8.45p.m

Im not really sure, but i think. its around this time that ahma passed away. I wasnt aware that ahma passed around this time. cause i was outside in the living room praying for her.

9.10p.m.

Ambulance didnt arive yet, So my uncle went to eng ann to ask for the doctor there. He saw the ambulance on the way. The ambulance broke down. And the man said he was gonna send another ambulance, But my uncle couldnt wait. So he went to ask for the doctor.

9.45p.m.

Only Uncle Johnny, Doctor and me was in the ahma's room. The doctor first looked at ahma. did some tests. First, He used his stesthescope to listen for ahma's heartbeat. He didnt say anything.. then, he checked for ahma's blood pressure. he looked down, and last, he pointed a light into ahma's eyes to check for the pupil movement. But nothing. He confirmed ahma's passing. My uncle then lead him outside and brought him back to his clinic. My uncle told the family and everyone started crying. There was people who haven't arrived yet. Like my parents, who were still on the way from Australia. I will never forget this day till i die. Everyone started crying. I cannot describe it in words. People who had lived through these situations only will know they way i feel.

11.30p.m.

Parents and Uncle Robert and Aunty Alice rushed from the airport as soon as they heard the news. My uncle, had a 'call' from my ahma a few hours before. My Uncle Billy too. Its too long to write in words, I will explain to you if you want me to explain it.

11.45p.m.

Family from Australia finnally reached home. Just close your eyes and picture this scene.

Your grandmother passed. everyone's crying and your parents just came from overseas.

12a.m.

The people from Fairy Park came and did everything. they took down my curtains, pictures and wrapped everything.

Well, im gonna skip the first 3 days of funeral. If you guys wanna know. see me in school then i'll explain.

Even though this blogs about May, But im gonna write about the last day of ahma's funeral.

June 3 2009,

It was ahma's last day for her funeral. this means that we're gonna put her into the final resting place.
I personally, do not wanna talk about it. You want to know. I'll send you a picture and let the picture describe.

After all that, i've learned that things can be out of your reach and just zoom pass you in the matter of seconds, or in my case, hours. My ahma was looking okay in the afternoon, but at night, she passed. We should treasure life every second. Keep your loved ones close. I still cry till today for ahma. I miss you so dearly

Thanks for spending your precious time reading this blog. Im sorry if i wasted it. Sorry for the bad english. That is May 2008/2009 till June 3 2009.